Memory

Why is it my memory can't remember things I study for a test but I hear one lyric from a song or a name of someone I know or even a name from a popular rock n role restaurant and my mind replays those memories like a movie with all the characters there like as if I just pushed play... Does my past really Effect my future and are all these characters there for a reason. Times I wish I could delete those memories as easy as I can on my computer.

... time escapes my presense...

I am not really sure why I am on my blog today, so much is running through my mind that I am allowing those words to flow through my fingers if hopes to release the confusion and straighten the madness out. Careers have been pressing upon my mind as of late. I thought I knew what I wanted to do when I grew up, and now that I am growing up all I can think about is my childhood and how I had it good. As of now I am still studying Business Management at school, but believing I could enjoy Computer Engineering instead. I haven't tried to make the change yet because I honestly don't want to take the time or effort to do so. I feel at times my laziness is becoming the better of me and the lack of energy and enthusiasm is making me doubt any potential I have. What happened to my dreams and goals I once had? Where did that desire to change the world go? Was it lost when I found out I couldn't change myself and just accepted who I was and what I was becoming? Or did I change myself so much that I ended up becoming who I was trying to change? What ever happened to my creative side, the side that had ideas and inventions that was impressive? When did this side of me change and this annoying, angry, prideful person emerge? In all essence I just don't believe there is any need for what my potential is and feel being sucked into the driskul life of surfing the internet is more desirable than whom I want to become. Is any of this even making sense... I feel I am just going around in circles or dead ends...
and Stumble!